wrecking_yard

I managed to sleep through part of the lunch break, and almost made it to sleeping until Mic brought food back up. Unfortunately, not even a lot of morphine keeps me from starting awake at unexpected sharp sounds, and a knock on the booth door before the handle rattles is definitely unexpected.

Got past security, didn't set off other alarms. Either they had a way to fool the thermal and motion sensors, or they have or can spoof a student ID badge - would have to be student, the booth door would've opened for a faculty badge. I'm debating if I should open it or let Mic get back and handle it. There's not much reason for one of the students to be up here, and I'm not in any condition to defend myself if someone's trying a security breach; if they're determined enough that door and the booth walls won't hold forever, but forcing entry would draw attention...

"A-Aizawa-sensei?"

....It's Mineta. I turn the chair, debate getting up, decide against it, and unravel part of the wrapping on my arm to open the door instead. Mineta does look up at that in confusion as he ducks under it, but doesn't comment, just squints at me. "A-are you okay?" Kid's been swinging between turning up the volume on his normal antics and anxiety balling since the USJ attack; he was the least mentally prepared for it of the class, but he did make a good showing of himself even with that.

"Eh." The mess I'm wearing is partly to hide how wrecked I still am and partly a way to cheat when I shouldn't be that mobile. "Getting there."

"I uh. Didn't mean to freak out the paramedics...." He's fidgeting, fussing, and looking everywhere except at me.

I just sigh. "They've dealt with people using quirks for first aid before. It kept me from bleeding out more than I already had. It was a good idea... just tell them you need to ride along to remove them next time."

He flinches, looking up sharply. "Next time?!"

He's way too high strung for the amount of energy I have right now. "Fighting villains and disaster rescue will all involve dealing with injuries. Having a way to stop bleeding until a wound can be properly tended can save lives, but the paramedics will need to know that they can't remove them without your help." I sink back into the chair. "I ended up getting drug all the way to the operating room once, keeping someone's intestines inside their body. Would've died if I hadn't been there."

He wobbles, looking visibly queasy at that. At least he's got time to either adjust to the idea, or rethink his career plans. After a minute or so, he swallows hard, and forces himself to look up at me, making some nervous gestures at all of the bindings.

"I-i-s. Ah. Is it always - like that? Fighting villains and everything?"

"Mmmnnnhhh." Things are still hazy and floaty enough that trying to gauge takes effort. "No. That was....unusual. Last time I saw something that bad was ..... Sky Egg incident maybe?" It's the last big planned and coordinated assault that I can think of. It's not something where you can really rate things against each other - this was much more tightly planned than the Sky Egg assault, much better coordinated, but that was also a larger scale attack that got rushed because we'd interrupted the preparations, involving a lot more people, at least in terms of civilians and heroes. Not sure the weird flying explosive suicide bomber proto-Nomu count as people.

Mineta gives a huge sigh of relief. "I don't think I could take another one like that."

"I'm sure they're not done...," I mutter quietly; he definitely hears, freezing again and giving me a boggled, terrified look. The leaders of that attack got away, and were definitely not the actual overall ringleaders.

"I thought I was gonna die..."

"Yeah, so did I," I mutter tiredly, and he looks even more panicked. Crap. "Not at the start, I mean. Figured I'd get hurt, that was a shit situation to begin with, but all I had to do was keep enough of them busy to give all of you time to escape or breathing room to defend yourselves until backup got there. Didn't think I was going to die until Tomura and his pet decided to jump me and I realized I couldn't really do much to fend off the big guy."

The panicky boggled look has a weird sort of horrified awe now. "How are you so calm about it?! There wasn't even - it was like you didn't even blink when the big guy started hitting you, you just kept fighting..."

I'd like to just rub the bridge of my nose or scrub my face with one hand, but it'd take too much effort and even with the morphine it does hurt a little to move. "Well, it's always the same. If you don't fight or do something, you die, and so do a lot of other people probably. If you turn around to fight and do whatever you can, then you might die or get hurt, but if you know how to use your quirk and how to handle yourself, you can probably do something to stop it; you won't come out as bad, and even if you can't stop other people getting hurt entirely, you can make sure it's a lot less bad than it would've been."

He's been panic jagging and perfectly happy to show it since ... actually the middle of the attack, going by the videos - he did great at sucking it up and going along when the other two came up with a plan, he's just going to need a lot of work to be able to go into anything on his own initiative, and I'm not actually sure he really thought through the job he was aiming for. "Mineta? Why did you want to become a hero?"

He shifts, self-consciously, and gives me a gauging look; I'm just tired and even drugged up, can mind tone to keep it as level and non-confrontational as possible when I'm dealing with a student who's still terrified of me. "Uh. I dunno, I've kinda always been treated like a joke, and if I can be a big hero, then people will be looking up to me instead of laughing at me, maybe I'll actually get girls...."

At least he's honest. It's actually pretty common for "fame/money" to be among people's actual personal goals for going into the business, and most of the time with students that're aiming for that, they get cagey when they're asked because they know it's not Pure Altruistic Good Motives... But generally the more important part of the end result is if they manage to get the basic morals and why someone like All Might gets looked up to. "People look up to heroes because we're the ones putting ourselves in danger to get others out of it, or to stop whatever's causing the danger hopefully before it can hurt anyone. Villain, disaster, whatever. How would you've handed the robots from the entrance exam if they'd just showed up one day, out of nowhere, rampaging down a crowded city street?"

He shrinks, looking more uncomfortable, and mumbles, "About the same."

He took out a respectable number. Most of his engagements started with one of them spotting and targeting him and him throwing his orbs at it in a panic, albeit with good enough aim to hit joints and other places where it would sabotage them enough for them to fall over. "Well, if you want people to look up to you, you're going to need to work on acting in spite of panicking, because you need to be running toward the danger, not away from it."

He's just staring at me confused. "You're not telling me to not panic?"

I make a noise. If only he could see the inside of the head of half the pros when shit goes wrong, honestly. "Look, when those portals started opening, about half my train of thought was a lot of profanity about how bad that situation was. It's not that you're not afraid when you walk into something like that, it's that you know what you need to do and have training or experience for how to do it until stepping up and doing something feels like the best way to do something about the fear. You saw how Midoriya turned around to handle things, right?" He nods. "And it doesn't take much to tell that Midoriya's having screaming panic attacks most of the time when he's doing stuff like that. The more he gets used to turning around and doing something and it working, the less obvious it'll get."

It does seem to have helped; he's still kind of jittery but he's actually thinking it over and seems like he's less eyeball deep in an anxiety attack.

We really need a therapist or five on staff.

"The other thing is, if you want people to look up to you like All Might?" He stops, blinking at me. "You need to be someone they can look up to. I'm not saying you need to be some kind of perfect paragon of Good, but you need to think about how you're treating other people and what they want and how they're feeling. Girls aren't going to flock to you if you aren't treating them well, and you'll get smacked less if you aren't pissing people off over stupid shit."

He freezes with a high-pitched noise, and he's doing his version of the shifty fidget that usually happens when someone starts theorizing that I have a secret mind reading quirk, which means he did something recently to piss the girls off that I haven't heard about yet.

"You've got three years to work on all of that." And it's going to be a long three years.

There's a soft knock at the door before it opens - less a request to enter and more an alert that someone's there - and Mic slides in with a tray, sidestepping around Mineta in surprise with a little exaggeration. That's where Mineta actually seems to realize that he isn't actually supposed to be up here, and also looks at the clock, his jumbled "something something bye" too fast to be intelligible as he's vanishing out the door, leaving it to click shut behind him on its own weight.

Mic's still staring at the door after he vanishes while he's handing me the soup container and a couple other containers. "He OK?"

"Wanted to check on me and still rattled from the USJ. Kid's a ball of anxiety with no idea how to deal with other people." I'm taking a minute to poke at the cut fruit. "Gonna have my work cut out for me with him." It's a good class year, really; they're all capable and none of them are really digging in on bullying or anything too awful to wrangle. Hell, I'm pretty sure most of my other classes wouldn't have have made it through something like the USJ in their first week without casualties, and definitely not managed to cooperate that well when thrown around randomly.

And he's giving me one of those obnoxious knowing grins. "Awww, this early and you've already got a little brood of ducklings!"

I do have enough energy to flick a chunk of melon at him.

The thing with Aizawa is still bugging me a couple days later; I could swear I've heard that name somewhere before.  Bakugou's definitely still a mess, volatile even for him sometimes and just... zoning out others - I've been finding every excuse I can to drag him out of his house and off somewhere random, avoiding crowds as much as I can.  His efforts to find shit for distractions are getting kind of ridiculous - third year textbook math ridiculous, but it's not going out blowing up rocks somewhere secluded today, at least.  I've curled up in a tree with my laptop above where he's got papers and stuff spread out; he's even refusing to use a calculator, doing everything longhand.  

The class group chat's got its usual bits of vacation chatter, but right now I'm mostly just checking to see who's around that would be worth a DM to see what they can find without getting someone that'll figure out too much or bug Aizawa about it.  I've caught that he hates people realizing something is bothering him almost as much as Bakugou does, even if they're trying to help, outside of like.... three people maybe.  

Denki's on.  That's a start at least - if whatever it was is something from his time as a pro before he started teaching, it's gonna be harder to find, but Mic seemed to know about it, so if it's old and Mic was involved, it's probably from when they were students, before Aizawa split off on his own for a while.  

{Hey Denki?  You still have all that stuff from when Aizawa was a student you dug up?}

{Of course I do!  What do you need?}

If I play this right, he'll just read it as snooping and not ask what I'm after, or assume he's already snooped it  out himself.  {The news report stuff, I got curious about something.}

{Found some good dirt?}  Not like finding embarassing dumb shit about the teachers is a class hobby or anything....

{Nah, just something I was trying to figure out.  Probably nothing big, I just don't have a lot better to do right now and like Hell am I getting drug into Bakugou doing calculus for fun.}  

{Okay now THAT'S crazy.  I'll have it to you in a minute!}  

It's not even that long before I've got an archive file in my email.  Bakugou's focused on something he's working on, muttering witchcraft at the paper and chewing on his pencil; I can leave him be and just keep watch around what I'm doing for now.  If I saw the name somewhere in all of this, then it'd be around the stuff we'd gone through, so I start with the third year sports festival.  Denki'd dropped clips all over the group chat, including Aizawa getting yeeted into the stands by All Might, and All Might repeatedly face planting during their big team event because Aizawa was playing "on, off, on, off" with his quirk.  Right at the top of one of the articles there's a photo from the team event with names - two people, and one's the name I was looking for.

Aizawa sitting on some high terrain spire, grinning like a maniac and high-fiving someone riding on a bright colored cloud, still holding the other team's flag.  

Flipping back through the photos, it looks like half or more of the times people got Aizawa in a picture, Oboro had an arm over his shoulder to keep him from vanishing.  First year Aizawa's deer in headlights in the pictures, second year he's being grumpy and resigned, third year he's faking aloof and taking it in stride.  

Graduating picture of Class 1A, Aizawa's trying to disappear into the background, and there's no Oboro - somewhere in between the sports festival and graduation, he's gone.  Big things in between that in the year - probably not some weird freak attack like what we went through, it'd get mentioned if that'd happened before, which means I'm either looking at the internships or for some kind of article about an accident or disappearance or something.  Going by the way the filename on the archive goes, Denki's hoarded every news article with Aizawa's name on it, this is just the ones from his student years. 

It seemed like it should've been hard to find, but it's not - that time period UA with Aizawa's name apparently grabbed a LOT of articles around internships.  

Fledgling hero Eraserhead, saved the day standing alone against a threat that had knocked out his entire team and the Pro they'd been interning with; some injuries, almost no civilians harmed, one casualty, dead to collateral damage from a building collapse before Eraserhead got on scene to back them up from evac duty.

Well.

Fuck.

Like 90% of the collateral damage around that mess was the big bad tearing down buildings while All Might tried to contain it, which means that Aizawa left the press conference and went out to dig people out of collapsed buildings until he fell over from exhaustion.  No wonder he was a mess and Mic didn't want me talking about it.  

"HAH!"

That almost gets me falling out of the tree, juggling the laptop to not drop it.  

"Got it!"  Bakugou's triumphantly holding up the paper, covered in eldritch scribbling.  

"That's great!  I don't know what any of that means."  

"Oh, you will."  He's still holding the paper and grinning at me.  

God no, that's third year or college math and I'm on vacation.  "Yeah, yeah, we can get to that later right?  I'm kinda trying to enjoy what's left of my vacation."  

He snorts.  "Wahtever, man.  You're going to need this later."  

I need a distraction, now.  "You up for lunch?  There's an old camp grill near here."  

I've drug a cooler with chicken skewers and stuff out, and it's a nice, sunny area out of the way.  For a little while, it's almost like things are back to normal.

After we've eaten he starts doing the zoning out thing again.  I let him sit and stare off into space for a b it, then sidle over to sit next to him and nudge him with an elbow.  "You still with us?"  

He yelps and jumps, almost off-balance, hands as far away from me as he can get them.  "Don't sneak up on me like that!"  

I'm not moving while he's being jumpy, but it's hard not to give him the 'why are you like this' stare.  "...Dude.  I was in your line of sight the whole time.  There was no sneaking involved."

"Whatever."  He's going full sulk, keeping his hands away from anything.  

It starts out as a little dribble of something; we're off in away from people, alone, and I don't actually have to worry about anyone wandering in and getting him to clam up or overhearing or needing to explain myself to anyone - he's been blatantly a mess since we got him back, and he's not even letting me try to help, and it's starting to get on my nerves.  "Okay.  Look.  I know you don't want to hear this, but you're REALLY BAD at pretending you're okay."  There's an easy logic leap as his sulk deepens and I'm trying to find ways to get him to listen and not just shut down on me more.  "These last few months everyone - and I mean everyone, every damn person who's trying to play it off, you, Midoriya, Iida, Sensei, even freaking All Might - is horrible at pretending they're okay."  

I could've kept going too, that's the part that's disturbing.  He's looked up, but he's just staring at me cautiously, not saying anything, and damnit, I'm going to keep going until I can get SOMETHING out of him.  "And I get it, I really do.  The teachers play it cool so we don't freak out, all of us students and heroes play it cool around the public so they don't freak out more than they already are, All Might plays it cool so the whole fucking world doesn't panic, and you've got this bug up your ass about nobody ever being allowed to realize you're not okay, but I am getting sick and tired of just nodding along with it all the fucking time, twenty four seven, even when there's nobody around to freak out about it!"  

So I'd known I'd been sitting on a lot, and hadn't actually thought about how much until I was out there, in the woods, gesturing at the empty forest around us with nobody to overhear, actually getting it out of my own head and into words.  

Bakugou just blinks a few times, staring at me more.  "You've had your shit together fine."  

And that is the last straw.  I pick up the blanket, wad it up a bit, and throw it at his face; it falls draped over his head.  "DAY AND A HALF.  Do you know how long it takes to make something like that normally?!"  My voice cracked somewhere in there and I don't care.  "I failed my final, got shut in a room getting crammed on things for days, was stuck in a small room being useless while everyone else was fighting for their lives, hiding like a coward when you got grabbed, got to watch Aizawa getting ripped apart by reporters for letting you all fight back when he hates being on camera, saw more Nomu than I ever wanted to know existed, then watched half of the top ten get wiped in two seconds by someone who blew up two city blocks in an instant and used All Might and Gran Torino as ping pong balls!"  It's a good thing we're in the middle of nowhere, because anybody in the area would've heard me.  "OF COURSE I'M NOT OKAY!"

Somewhere during the tirade, he starts carefully pulling the blanket off his head, staring at me, and in the silence after I'm done yelling, he pulls it up around his shoulders and curls up, arm around his knees.  "Alright, fine.  I'm not okay."  It's a grudging mutter.

"I noticed.  You've spent half of the last week staring off into space and jumping at everything."  

He shoots me a glare.  

"Listen, man.  The closest I've come to one of those creepy fucks was the double of Patchwork that Vlad and Aizawa trashed for attacking us.  I can't imagine being shut in a room with all of them for a few days."  

He scrunches in more with a scowl.  "Why'd you all show up like that, anyway?"  

It's not what I was expecting, but if that's where he wants to start on actually talking, then at least he's talking; I'll take it.  "Uh.  Well.... you know.  Back at the camp, if I'd thought I could get away with it past Iida and Vlad?  I would've been out the window the second that message got out that they were after you.  But...That wasn't happening, and the teachers made it pretty clear they wanted us staying put so they'd have fewer people in the line of fire to worry about."  I'd still like to say I would've been okay out there, but seeing how many people got wrecked, and how much of a mess Aizawa's been about all this, I'm really not sure.  "And when I heard they'd gotten you, it just.... I felt so useless.  Like - here I'd been, sitting like a lump in the only sorta-safe place while everybody else was out there doing something and my best friend was getting kidnapped.  I just - I couldn't keep sitting by and doing nothing while you were out there."  He's barely looking over his knees and the scarf, and it feels like he's trying to keep his face out of sight, and - the way he is about everyone is sticking in my head, like he just expects everyone to hate him and treat him like shit.  "Same went for the others - I mean, Iida and Yaoyoruzu wanted to trust the pros and not get in shit so they were making sure we didn't get in over our heads, but Midoriya and Todoroki and I weren't gonna take any chances that the Pros might not get you out, and it... looks like we were right.  Everybody they had sent out there was pretty great, but that bastard in charge had one over on everyone, and if we hadn't been there..."

Bakugou had been outmatched and cornered, with most of the League on his ass while the big bad kept the pros away; I'm not gonna call out that he would've been fucked without us, but it was pretty obvious.  "We'd never have forgiven ourselves if we'd just sat it out and let that happen to you again."  

The others might not be sticking to him like I've been to hammer that through his head, but I doubt he'd have let them even if they wanted to; Midoriya was right, I am pretty much the only person he'll listen to for anything like that.

"I don't need help."  It's weak and muffled into the blanket, like he's trying to tell himself that more than me.

"Whatever you say.  We all know you'd do the same for us."  

He curls up, burying his face in the blanket with a stifled noise, and I'm just....sidling over to lean against him and let him hide his face in the blanket and keep his last few shreds of dignity.  

Which means pretending I didn't notice him sobbing.  

Eventually, there's a weak little "damnit" from under the blanket where he's buried his head.  

"You've got friends.  You can be the top and still have friends help you out now and then, alright?  You saw Gran Torino backing All Might up back there, even All Might is okay with having other people to make sure everything works out okay.  We're all here for the same reason."  

"I shouldn't need anyone.  Supposed to be better than that."  He's still muffled and hasn't shifted from being burrowed under the blanket.

"Why are you so hung up on that, anyway?  It's stupid.  It keeps getting you hurt, and if anything happens to you when I'm not there to back you up -"  He really probably wouldn't have taken the escape if it hadn't been me there, if it'd been anyone else in the class - "I don't wanna hear that something happened to you and I lost you because you wouldn't let someone else step in to give you a hand."  

Aizawa had one casualty to collateral damage and I can easily see why the guy's still a mess; I barely made it a few days to get help, a plan, and backup myself when there was still a clear chance Bakugou could be okay.  

"Fuck.  Why'd you have to go and do that?"  

Screw his dignity, I'm just going to put an arm around him and squeeze.  "People care about you, idiot.  Not just me, either.  And it's not about thinking you can't do something or thinking you're too weak to do it yourself, we all know you're really strong and brilliant.  It's that we don't want to see you get hurt, and we know you wouldn't let us get hurt if you could help it."  I give a beat; he's still scrunched up tense, and I can already guess the likely response.  "Don't try to say you wouldn't, I saw you charge in to back everyone else up in the USJ after we cleared our zone.  We watch each other's backs, that's how the hero business works."  

He grumbles something that I don't think is even trying to be words, and it's a while before he comes out from under the blanket.  

...............................................

I'm doing normal restless wandering around the normal routines, in one of those gaps when it's daytime and I can't be around Bakugou.  It's really easy to spot Mic out on the street; about all he did to be 'out of costume' was ditch the amplifiers.  He's across the street, having some kind of animated conversation with a street vendor.  Him being around means it's not a surprise to find Aizawa sprawled on a park in the bench half asleep, arm draped over his face.  He's in street clothes mostly - black jeans, hoodie, and sunglasses, but the scarves are still there so it's not much of a "civilian clothes avoiding attention" effort.  

 Aaand even half asleep, as soon as I'm within twenty feet I can see him shift so he can see me around his arm.  

I should probably leave things be, but it also feels a little wrong to not tell him I was snooping on him on something that personal, so I head over, trying not to fidget.  He lifts his arm off his face more, making it obvious he's watching me.  

"Kirishima."  After a couple seconds, he shifts, sorta oozing over the bench until he's sitting upright and not taking up the whole bench, straightening his sunglasses.  "How's Bakugou?"  

"Eeeeeeennnnnh.... better than he was?"  I shrug.  "He's been out of it since he got back, but he's zoning out less, I think.  His family drug him off for some outing today; he couldn't get out of it, and I wasn't invited.  I don't think they like me."  The amount of trying really hard to not get into some kind of argument with his mom or tell her off is probably obvious and likely the reason.  

Aizawa grumbles, scowling at that, but he nods.  

"So uh.  There's.  Something I should talk to you about.  About that thing back the morning after the rescue."  

He doesn't seem to have caught on what I'm hedging about, and motions for me to go on.  "I know you and Mic told me to ignore it, but I kept feeling like I'd heard the name you said before, and... I uh.  Checked back some of the news articles from when you were at UA."  

There's a long pause where he's not giving any visible reaction.  "....Ah."  He's still quiet after that.  

"And I figured... that was the kind of thing I should come clean about and... apologize for snooping around at."  I pull in all my urge to fidget and give him my best absolute formal bow.

He sighs.  "Apology accepted and appreciated, but if you just went through news articles, then it's all public record - that's not really much snooping."  

Somehow I'd expected him to be more upset, considering how private he is and how much he hates attention.  It doesn't help that it's not all of it.  "I uh. Also told Mic I wouldn't bring it up to you unless you brought it up first, or tell any of my classmates, but uh.  Kaminari kinda archived every news article with your name and the articles from when you were at UA are organized, including those, so I think he knows."  

He gives a weak half-laugh.  "You know I can see the group chat, right?  I know he's been digging through public records on me."  It does make sense put that way, even if all Denki's actually commented on or drawn attention to is ridiculous shit.  "Also, I appreciate Mic's concern, but... well, it's something I've been trying to stop running from lately."  

I have a good, long moment of staring at him, trying to put that sentence in the context of Aizawa and have it fit.  I mean, I know he Hasn't Been Okay, but him and 'running away from things' doesn't really compute.  He seems more likely to latch on like a komodo dragon and shake something to death.  "...Running away?"  

He inhales, and there's another long pause.  "Look, I'm not about to unload on you and I save actually dealing with this shit for Mic for a reason - I'm here to teach you kids, and you shouldn't need to feel responsible for someone twice your age with a lot more experience.  Besides, he's more able to help, anyway."  He's motioning with one hand; Mic's still chatting with the vendor.  "The main reason I'm talking to you about this at all is that you kids have been thrown into the deep end, with a lot of shit to deal with.  I know you're all used to the idea that heroes are supposed to come across as unbreakable and unbeatable, and how easy it is to fall into the trap of trying to force yourself to live up to it all the time."  

Definitely teacher mode.  I give a nod and am focusing attention; it's not often that he gets to go on like this about stuff that's not field survival.   

"Heroes need to seem invincible to the people they protect, and the villains they're up against.  You try to do that all the time, with everyone, especially yourself, and you're gonna have a breakdown - you have to know to deal with things and process them, and have someone you can rely on to help you keep your head screwed on straight."  

"Don't have to tell me twice."  Not like that's a large chunk of what I'm trying to chew on Bakugou over or anything.  

That's definitely a smirk and an approving nod.  

"So uh.  Running away?"  It's like he sidestepped the entire question, and it feels like maybe that's him accidentally proving the point there.  

He shifts, rubbing the back of his head and looking off to the side.  "Enh.  I melted down pretty hard after that - withdrew from everyone, just sort of walled everything up to avoid, didn't even try to deal with it or face it really until .... maybe this last semester."  He rolls his shoulder in a half-shrug.  

Okay, I've seen recordings of some of his other years teaching, and I never would've believed he was having some kind of slow burn meltdown.  "This - semester?  Wha?"  

"Long story.  Important point is, don't be me.  Shit happens, trying to block it out and avoid it is just worse for everyone in the long run."

"...This last semester?"  It seems like something that should've been more obvious.  

"...Right.  See that's what I meant.  You don't let people that're depending on you see you flounder, you save that for when you're with people you trust who can handle it."  He's grinning and it's a little cracked seeming.  "Midnight, Mic, and Nezu knew, but if you kids didn't know, then I succeeded."  

"...You're not just talking about this last thing and how you were really a mess after the rescue, are you."  

He's still grinning and shakes his head.  "Yeah I slipped up there.  Sorry about that."  

I'm not sure if that's comforting or kind of terrifying.  

I had to leave the booth while things were still getting prepped for the ceremony to make it in time - couldn't move fast enough to cross the back halls of the stadium and be up there for it. Even hobbling along as fast as I can, I barely get to that part of the arena as the ceremony's ending.

Endeavor's still in the stands. We're good; he can't even get into this part of the hallways.

The exit is about as much of a circus as it always is, with staff and a few reporters with passes and all the other chaos. Todoroki is standing off to the side, still looking dazed; Tokoyami is leaning on the wall, Dark Shadow poking his head through the medal ribbon and trilling happily. Tokoyami's not looking directly at Todoroki, but I know his field of vision and how fast he'd usually vanish from a room with this many people given the option.

Bakugou's arguing with Midnight about the medal and she looks at wit's end; I can't keep an eye on both of them. Tokoyami does look up and nod, acknowledging me; I point to Todoroki, he nods, Dark Shadow giving me a small salute. They'll keep an eye on him, and Endeavor's not stupid enough to do anything around witnesses he can't shut up - it'll at least buy Todoroki time until he's out of an area where any of us could help.
There's enough commotion that I can't really get close, and people aren't noticing me as I'm trying to get Bakugou's attention. I finally slip a couple scarves in to tap him on the shoulder. "KATSUKI."

Bakugou's attention snaps over to me with a snarl. "Don't call me that!"

I motion for him to come over, and he does storm up to me; behind him, Midnight slumps with a sigh of relief and shifts her focus to the rest of the circus.

"What do you want, anyway?" He's glaring at me sullenly; there's little restrained crackles all over, and it's damn obvious nobody ever realizes how much self control he really has.

"First chance I've had in all of this circus to get out of that booth. Also there's a back door away from all the reporters." I jerk a thumb over my shoulder, and he stuffs his hands in his pockets with a growl, but he's not arguing with a chance to avoid the vultures. Before we leave, I do get to see Todoroki take a deep breath, straighten up, square his shoulders, and stalk out the door like he's bracing himself; Tokoyami slips out behind him fast. I can catch up with him later.

Bakugou follows me out, grumbling under his breath and watching the ground, still fuming; the medal's sticking out of his pocket, ribbon crumpled in one of his hands. The volume cuts as soon as the metal door swings shut behind us. There's a distant din through the concrete walls and metal, but it's muffled, the back hallway almost quiet.

"You did well out there."

"Like Hell I did." He's still sulking. "I got shown up all through the first rounds, everybody hated me for my first couple matches, and then Icy-Hot doesn't even bother to take me seriously."

Todoroki's PTSD flashback is its own entire can of worms; there's a lot to unpack, and I only have enough energy to focus on one thing at a time. "Elbowing Mic hurt." He did back off and change his tune at least, after I'd taken over the mic for a few minutes and then hissed at him during the break off-live about my third year to make sure he got the message.

"Why did you bother, anyway? What do you care?" There's no way he realizes how hurt he sounds even when he's trying to bristle. That's good - he did hear me chewing out the stadium in his defense.

"Well, I am responsible for all of you. It's part of my job." He gives a little eye roll. "Also I know it's hard to believe, but we were your age once, and not all of us come from great happy places." His dismissive sulk cuts off with a flinch and he's narrowing his eyes at me, edging to follow a little further away. "And you are a bright kid with a lot of potential who deserves better."

Now he's really giving me the confused, suspicious glare - like he's waiting for the attached strings or the other shoe.

"You didn't get first in the early events, but you still did well even with stiff competition. When you get out in the field, there won't be grades, and rankings are just media bullshit; what'll matter is what you do - you saw a glimpse of how it really works in the USJ." He's frowning and still looks suspicious, but he's listening. "Winning means something here, but if you can show what you're capable of, you don't have to come in first place to make an impression."

"Yeah, as a villain." He's hunching over further and sulking.

"Still pissed about that. Ochaco's not a damsel in distress, and you were taking on a tough fight - you both deserved better."

I use a scarf to open the door out rather than my hands. It doesn't hold Bakugou's attention long - Mic was lying in wait for me with a couple drinks. I grab both, one in a scarf and one in my somewhat usable hand.

"Thanks."

Bakugou's turning to watch Mic while following me as I continue on; I can hear Mic almost say something, then a quiet little crestfallen 'okay', and he's not following.

"He knows he's in the doghouse."

There's even more confusion and the kid's a little on edge looking between me and Mic, even though he does take the drink when I pass it over with the scarf, staring at it suspiciously too. Some of the secured outdoor training areas are pretty much parks when they're not in use and they're clustered around the stadium. It's simple enough to duck through the gate of one and take a side path to one of the observation benches, next to the locked, sealed metal case that would fold out to monitors and the like. He's staring around - students wouldn't have much chance to know this is even there.

There's also a gleam of light reflecting off something in the trees behind us that I don't need to look at to identify, although Bakugou visibly notices and turns to glare. "What's his problem? Doesn't trust me?"

"No, it's because of me. He's being fussy. Probably will be until a while after I'm back at 100%." I manage to get my phone out of my pocket with a scarf, keying in a text.

{Can you not hover? I am on a bench in a secure area. I am fine. You're spooking the kid and bad at hiding.}

I can actually see the wilt before he slinks off.

Bakugou definitely noticed my quick text and has an eyebrow raised looking between me and where Mic was lurking. I give a minute for him to settle that we're not being watched, at least, and start looking around the area more.

"So." I'm leaning on the bench more for support, sinking into it, holding my drink in scarves to get a rest for my good hand - the ache is starting to break through the morphine again. "You were saying you don't think you earned that." I give a slight nod toward the medal hanging out of his pocket.

His attention refocuses on me with a short nod.

"How about we start from the top on why? One thing at a time."

He frowns, narrowing his eyes at me; I take a sip of my coffee, waiting, like he expects me to just talk over him when he doesn't say anything. He doesn't even try until it's obvious I'm not going to.

"I was like, second and third at best through the early rounds."

I shrug. "Pretty typical. You get a lot of kids here that are used to being the best from wherever they're from. You're not 'doing worse' than you were, you're just suddenly in with peers that are on your level. The top that usually ends up juggling who wins things for a bunch of reasons, but it's hard to realistically rank them between each other. It has more to do with different strengths and weaknesses in different circumstances."

He's looking at me funny - like it half didn't make sense and half didn't help at all.

"You're dealing with equals. It makes sense given a number of competitions that equals would juggle who wins, especially in large and chaotic scenarios that play to different strengths like the early events. You may not have had first place, but you were always near the top, with is not easy with that many exceptional people vying for it. You proved you were in the same league with all the other front runners."

That still seems to confuse him. "Including the nerd."

Midoriya is his own headache, and I'm getting the impression he didn't do anything to distinguish himself before he decided to go for UA. Considering the way he's been anxiety rattling all the time and needing time to psych up, he's probably always been capable but not acting on it out of fear... and whatever history they have, it's definitely a part of Bakugou's complexes. "Humor me for a minute. What do you remember about Midoriya before UA?"

He definitely is confused by the question and looking for a trap. "He was always the nerd, you know? No-quirk hero fanboy that everybody picked on." That getting said like it was just a fact of life is something I wish surprised me - normal teachers are awful for ignoring, passively encouraging, and sometimes joining in on bullying. The 'no quirk' part is familiar for a different reason though... "Would do anything for anybody so he was always getting walked on, couldn't stand up for himself if he tried. Nerd. Now all of a sudden I actually have a shot at number one and he's getting in my way with this super-powerful quirk he never told me he had."

I can already start a tally of the fallacies and logic traps that need worked on even if it's a headachy kind of tally that will take too much energy to do more than file away for later. "You know it probably isn't about you, right?"

He goes sulk at me, sticking his jaw out sullenly.

"The feeling I get is," I take a moment to take a sip of coffee and shake off a wave of drowsiness, "That he looks up to you and thinks you're better than him. Now he's realizing he has things he wants to do with himself enough to go for them, so he's actually putting effort in and standing up for himself instead of just folding. Butting heads with you is a side effect." I'm not touching the 'No Quirk' thing; it's obvious why All Might wants to keep that secret.

He's still staring at me like he doesn't get it.

My phone buzzes, and I pull it out again to see what Mic wants. {Hey your champion's parents are looking for him. What should I do?}

{Keep them busy. Last thing I need right now is crows on the chimney.} I put it back out of sight; Bakugou was trying to look over at what it was, but didn't get much chance. He's shrinking back trying to act like he wasn't just trying to see my phone, and starts talking again, probably half to keep me from calling him on it.

"And then I get shown up by the second-rates in the cavalry battle almost, never mind that I couldn't even touch Midoriya or Icy-Hot...."

He's minding not calling Midoriya "Deku" around me right now, but he's not bothering with Todoroki. Part of it probably has to do with him remembering that I've been stepping in on his habit of casually terrorizing Midoriya, and I'd wager part of it is there being some respect for Midoriya even if he has no clue what to make of the other kid right now or what to do with it.

"That's primarily a teamwork exercise; it changes up the scenario so nobody can just brute-force through it. There's always at least one team event every year - you need to be able to work with others in the field." It's both a test for the students to pass and a way for them to demonstrate to people that might take them on later that they can work in a team. The way he's staring at me, it was no help at all, and I've lost the train of thought to be sure where I was going with that.

Bakugou struggling in the exercise. Right.

"You pissed off the other classes, so they were gunning for you as hard as they were for Midoriya. You had them mad at you enough for more than one team to gang up on you and work together against you even knowing only one team would benefit from it."

He shrugs, still staring at me; he's not seeing the problem there.

"You added your own hardmode. Really, the fact that you managed to not get overwhelmed and pushed out in spite of making more enemies than you needed was impressive, even if it was self-inflicted."

He glares at me. "Oh fuck off." It's half-hearted; he caught the compliment in there, but he's still grouchy about pointing out his flaws. I have tomorrow for the actual one on one evaluations, I can handle that in more depth then. He has a good head for tactics, enough to back up his raw power and tenacity, he's just mostly been taught awful ways of handling his emotions and encouraged in crap ways of dealing with people.

Way too much to start on right now.

"Now, about the match with Ochaco..."

He stiffens, shrinking in a hunch. It's definitely a sore point and Mic and the audience reaction got to him more than he wants to admit. I doubt he could see the booth well enough to catch me reaming Mic out over it during the break when our microphones weren't live, reminding Mic about what I'd been like in my third year and that he should know better until he was almost hiding underneath the sound board.

"I meant what I said. You recognized she was capable and took her seriously as a threat. You'd think more people would've recognized that without prodding after her meteor shower, but..." I give an irritated grunt. "She's good at being underestimated until it's too late - it's already saved her life a few times against villains." He scrunches his nose, studying me on that; I haven't really had a chance to mention to them that I did spend time going back over the footage of what all of them had been doing during the USJ attack. "You had a tough match and had to work hard for that win. I've already raked Mic over the coals for it."

That only seems to confuse him more and gets him staring at me suspiciously again, specifically on the part about getting after Mic, like that's something he's having a hard time wrapping his head around.

Whatever he's trying to figure out is more thought and energy and another issue that I don't have energy for right now. "So. Why do you say Todoroki wasn't taking you seriously?"

It's enough to put a stick in the spokes of whatever he was chewing on. "Because he didn't put up much of a fight. I saw what he can do, and he just...didn't. Not even as much as he did against Iida. After that opener of his he mostly just stood there." Bakugou says it like it makes the conclusion obvious.

"He's got his own shit to deal with. It wasn't about you." PTSD is a little much to get into right now, although I know I'm going to have to sooner or later; Bakugou seems like the type to actually adjust for that kind of thing if someone would just sit down and explain it to him instead of writing him off.

He snorts. "Like what? He was fucking born with everything going for him - he didn't even have to work to get in like the rest of us. What kind of 'shit' could he have to deal with?"

I can't help but laugh bitterly, then regret it and wince at the sharp pain reminding me that my ribs aren't healed yet. "You haven't met Endeavor yet."

Now he's really confused. "Huh?"

My phone buzzes; I can check it in a minute. "Endeavor's an asshole. I'm lucky if he calls me by name - it's usually insults, and that's just to my face." I don't know if he's caught the professional etiquette that is 'calling someone by Hero Name unless there's familiarity', but he will sooner or later. "He's shitty enough to the paramedics and first responders that they have a betting pool on when there will be a big DV scandal with him. If he treats other heroes and the emergency services he has to work with like shit, what do you think he does to his kid?"

He's taken aback, and then he frowns hard, hunching his shoulders and folding up. "So why are you following me and not him?"

"Because I'm only one person and Tokoyami went to keep an eye on him." There's three more buzzes in quick succession; Mic must be getting desperate. "You did do well today." I pat him on the shoulder, minding my injuries as best I can, and use the scarves to lever up standing and support myself. "You should get home. Let's get back to the public space."

He's wrinkling his nose and squinting at me again, with a pointed look at the scarves. "Are you supposed to be up like this?"

"Eh." I shrug, mimicking a handwaggle with a scarf because the gesture's not worth the pain of using my actual hand. His squint is starting to look equal parts awed and horrified.

"How do those even work?" He's craning around, trying to get a better look at the scarves. As I'm turning to lead out I can see his mental wheels clicking into place - he's definitely figured it out.

"Trade secret." Not up to talking about it right now.

I can see Mic and Bakugou's parents from the other side of the gate before it opens. I know that body language - he's 110% in performance mode, and Bakugou's mother is glowering at him dubiously. They notice us the second we're clear of the gate and are headed around Mic toward me, forcing Mic to hurry to stay where he can easily get between them and us.

"KATSUKI! There you are! You weren't giving anyone any trouble, were you?"

Jesus H Christ lady, he just won first place and that's your first thought? "He wasn't any trouble. I was congratulating him on his hard work." No qualifiers, no details.

"Oh." She honestly looks like she's not sure what to do with that for a moment. "Well, that's wonderful! I'm so proud of you!"

He flinches behind me.

"Let's go home and celebrate!"

That's around where I started to zone out and probably half pass out; by the time I've caught back up to my surroundings, they're headed out away from the stadium. It looks like she's going between praise and nagging him every two seconds, and I don't think she's let go of his sleeve since he moved away from me. Mic's staying in full performance mode until they're well of sight, at which point he deflates, letting out a breath and barely keeping public face.

"So. Did I call it?"

"You called it," he mutters, keeping his voice down and minding that nobody from the crowds is coming too close to us. "That woman is made of bear traps."

Now he definitely gets it. I nudge his arm with an elbow, and he rests a hand on my shoulder to guide me back towards the main building. I'm going along on autopilot, in and out of a semiconscious daze. At one point he does lean over when we're stopped. "You OK? You've been doing that horror-movie puppet thing since you were in the training area."

Hadn't been thinking about it but not surprised - it's been a long day for the shape I'm in, and I have been relying on the scarf-wrapping to keep myself moving. "Meh." From the way the others have described what it looks like when I'm relying on entirely on cheating to move, it's no wonder Bakugou figured it out.

He makes a little worried noise in the back of his throat and keeps steering and hovering close until we're in the faculty lounge and there's a chair for me to sink into, collapsing across the table. There's definitely some morphine-aided passing out and I'm not sure for how long; by the time I found consciousness again, pretty much everybody who'd been there for the festival is in the room.  A few of them have noticeably been watching me off and on as if they're waiting for me to wake back up.

Some grumble turns into an unintelligible noise as I pull back sitting up, and there's a cup of water pushed in front of me from one side; Mic's going to be in trouble if Recovery Girl finds out he's been giving me coffee while I'm wrecked.  


"So.  Your students this year."  

Of course Cementoss is one of the ones  that's been waiting for me to wake up, after he had to get in between Todoroki and Midoriya.  

"What's going on with them?"

I know he's mostly referring to the three that were dramatically Not Okay in some fashion.  "Crows on the chimneys.  A lot of crows on the chimneys."  I pause, staring into the water.  "Not from home so much with Midoriya, at least."    There's no sign his home life is that bad, all things considered, even if his mother is raising him by herself, but between what I've caught from his behavior and what Bakugou said, he's definitely dealt with a lot of shit from peers and teachers.  

He makes a grinding noise and nods soberly; All Might is staring between the two of us in confusion.  "...Crows?"

Right, he's new here and hasn't run into that before.  

"Well, it's not like we can just come out and say 'hey, the kid's been treated like shit by their parents' or anything around students or other people most of the time."  Mic's draped over his chair nonchalantly but he's edged close enough that he could grab me fast if I did start to pass out, and he's acidly bitter about that.  

All Might goes quiet and conflicted and unhappy - you can see the pieces click into place in his head.  "...Oh."  And an angry flicker that I'd bet is him adding up that Todoroki's one of the worst off where he's trying to glare a hole into the table.  

"I don't think Midoriya's getting any shit at home, he's just been bullied.  A lot," I add.  It's an important distinction there, and definitely added to Midoriya's rampant anxiety.  "The other two though?"  

Mic grimaces; I still haven't even seen the texts he sent before we came out of the training zone.  

"Can't we do something about that?"  

There's a few bitter laughs and I'm almost one of them, but my ribs are still cracked and aching.  It's not enough to cover the quiet, bitter little "Oh, I wish there were more we could do," from Nedzu.  "The custody laws in this country heavily favor the parents, enough that if the parents say there is nothing untoward occurring at home, there can be photographic and other documentation of injuries from paramedics and doctors proving severe abuse and a child will still be handed back to the parents in most cases.  We've managed an occasional grey area with sheltering runaways, but those are precarious, and every one has involved much cautious preparation for a potentially hazardous legal battle."  He does glance my way for a moment there; I know I was one of those, and I'm pretty sure the glance was partly gauging how up to contributing I was, since I don't make much of a secret of it among the faculty.  "If the parents are involved or in a more esteemed position, it becomes even more difficult for us to have any way to meaningfully intervene beyond making UA as safe a place for the child as we can and doing as much as we can to help prepare them for life away from the situations they come from and help them heal."  

All Might is still distinctly unhappy, staring down at the table and his hands.  

Midnight's got some comment, and Nedzu's starting to go into explaining the finer points of the legal concerns and issues with support structures; it's incredibly easy to just slump on the table again and doze off until Mic's gently nudging my shoulder - because Recovery Girl is at the door staring straight at me.

"Oh good, I don't need to go looking for you."

Crap.  Right.  I was supposed to report back after the festival.